Thursday, July 19, 2007

The Doors Open at 7:00AM

Complimentary Valet Parking, courtesy of Nordstrom, is one of the many perks you can expect to receive if you plan to be present on the dawn of the biggest shopping event of the year.

The Anniversary Sale is a two-week period during which Nordstrom unveils their new fall/winter merchandise, and offers the public an opportunity to preview and purchase it at a discount. When the event is over, the remaining stock is returned to its original retail price.

Tomorrow is day 1 of the 14-day extravaganza. . .

With less than 12 hours to go, veteran Anniversary Sale participants are likely organizing their carpools, memorizing their credit card numbers, flagging their catalogs, stretching, hydrating, and setting their alarms. If you're unfamiliar with the above, but are feeling the tingle of intrigue, please be advised. . .this event is NOT for the faint of heart!

If. . .you can't make a run for it or dive under a rounder at a moments notice, Do Not Attempt This!

If. . .you suffer from high blood pressure, dizziness, shortness of breath or nausea, Do Not Attempt This!

If. . .you're sporting fingernails longer than 1/4 inch, you're a hazard to other shoppers, Do Not Attempt This!

If. . .you're claustrophobic, narcoleptic, agoraphobic or nihilistic, Do Not Attempt This!

Still want to go?
  • This is a "two hands required" event, leave kids at home!
  • Make haste! Grab now, decide later. If you delay, it's gone.
  • Wear underwear! (For the health and safety of all shoppers, there should always be something between yourself and the garment)
  • If you're nearsighted, bring your glasses.
  • If you're farsighted, bring your glasses.
  • If you're carrying a handbag, backpack, or briefcase that's larger than a clutch, leave it at home.
  • If the fitting rooms are locked, crawl under the door.
  • If the shoe counter is unattended, raid the stockroom.
  • If you see a girl with an armload of cashmere, dragging a rack of dresses, smile and wave. . . it's me! Good Luck!

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